me360.com

Me360

Recently, the social networking site Facebook was in the news because of a feature that shared information about your purchases with your friends. People complained that this was more than they wanted to share. Facebook backed off on the feature. Here at Me360 we think that’s a step in the wrong direction.

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Feeling left out of the social networking scene? Suffering from isolation anxiety because you only have 127 on-line close friends? Blue because the only video you’ve uploaded is of your cat drinking out of the toilet? Happily, you can catch up – with our help. Life has not totally passed you by.

Transparency – that’s the hot concept right now. Well, when Me360 finishes cranking up your social connections you’re going to be so transparent you’ll almost be invisible!

You likely know all the usual stuff that so-called social networks let you do: share pictures of yourself and friends, publish lists of your favorite bands, songs, movies, and hair gels. Same ol’, same ol’.

This is all superficial stuff. Duplicated and replicated by millions of people competing for friends and a few minutes of fame. Old school. Late and lame.

Now, with Me360™ you can take socializing to a new level – share more than you ever thought possible. And it’s easy – we’ve already done a lot of the work for you.

We believe that sharing the max information about yourself with your friends should be as easy as possible. You may have the fastest thumbs in the West, but trying to share the details of your life by texting on your cell is soooo slow. That’s why we offer the exclusive Me360Stream™ feature. This feature automatically streams all of your phone conversations directly to your Me360 home page – it’s like the ultimate, continuous conference call. We can deliver this service for free because of groundbreaking partnership with the Office of Homeland Security – they’ve already done all the heavy lifting. Think of it as having your very own personal wiretap! Did we mention that none other than Alberto Gonzales is on our board? He is so out in front on these new trends. The man’s a genius.

And another thing. There has been a strange taboo in the past about letting anyone know about your financial condition – such things as telling someone how much you make. But money is an important part of everyone’s life. Why be so secretive? What’s that all about? Your finances are part of who you are – why not share that with your friends. This one is a no-brainer. All of your financial information is already available to you on-line: Me360$$™ connects all of your banking stuff – deposits, withdrawals, credit card transactions – directly to your Me360 pages. Now all your friends can know as much about your finances as your significant other – maybe more.

Can we talk frankly? Good. We’ve all broken some rules along the way – those times when we’ve ‘colored outside the lines’ are often defining moments that make us stand out from the crowd. There should be an easy way to share those moments: Paris and Brittany do – why not you? To make it easy, in fact, automatic, Me360 has partnered with thousands of state and local police agencies to implement Me360Busted™ so that you can automatically have all of your arrest information immediately posted to your Me360 page. Presto! Before you even have a chance to post bail, all your friends will have the official blow-by-blow account of your latest extralegal caper complete with your mug shot posted to Me360Pix™. Happy parole! And best wishes for a house-arrest anklet (those are so cool.)

And how are you feeling? No, we mean really, how are you? Got a cold? Maybe one of those pesky STDs? Wouldn’t your friends want to know? You could post to your blog about it, but your opinions are hardly authoritative. We have a better way – direct links to your medical records. With Me360Rx™ your friends can know as much about your body and your health as your own doctor! (Actually more since if you have more than one physician they likely don’t have the whole picture.) Expose your xrays. Share the list of your meds. Good friends don’t want their friends to suffer alone. Your insurance company may not have you covered, but we do.

But Me360Rx™ only deals with your physical state. Isn’t your mental and emotional state just as important to making new friends? We think so too and that’s why we’ve bonded with the American Psychological Association to deliver Me360Shrink™. Most therapists have joined in this effort (the free ads for their services that are displayed alongside the transcripts of your therapy sessions were a factor.) Version 1.0 of Me360Shrink™ will deliver a text transcript of your therapy sessions as soon as your psychologist can email session notes. Future releases will stream real-time audio of the sessions. What better way to bond with potential friends than to open your soul and troubled mind to their scrutiny.

OK, we hear you. (Literally – we are definitely listening in.) Some of you aren’t into therapy. Perhaps you think matters of the soul are best handled by clergy. We understand. And The Church understands. It’s well known that confession is good for the soul. That’s why we’ve married with the Catholic Church to bring you Me360Sin™. Now participating churches (and most have signed up – the Catholic church has had some large unexpected expenses in the last couple years what with all the molesta… oh, we don’t have to tell you) have wired their confessionals. If you push the Me360 button in the confessional just before you say ‘Bless me father for I have sinned’, you’re connected! And so is your confession (and penance) – it’s all broadcast to your home page to give your friends and potential friends a sonic window into your soul (such as it is.)

These Me360 features are quite terrific, even if we say so ourselves. But all of them are centered on words. Here’s where we can really shift your sharing into overdrive. If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many words must continuously streamed video be worth? A googol perhaps? Basic Me360Wired™ provides you with a Bluetooth microphone/transmitter to send all of your conversations during the day directly to your Me360 page so all your friends can listen in. The next level of service, and there is a charge for this (but well worth it) is Me360Cam™ – we provide you with a helmet-mounted webcam and an uplink so you can stream continuous video of your every move. Right - like you’ve read the book – now it’s “Me The Movie”! Forget 15 minutes of fame – it’s you 360x24x7.

But you know, sometimes all the tools in the world aren’t enough to make your life look fun and interesting. Many famous people are so busy living their fun, exciting lives that they don’t have time to write their own autobiography. What do they do? They have a ghostwriter that writes about their life. We think it’s likely that you have the opposite situation - there’s not much fun or interesting about your life. You’re sitting on the couch eating chips and watching TV. No problem – Me360Ghost™ to the rescue. This isn’t gonna be free – but it could be the best dime you’ve ever spent.

Me360Ghost™ helps you create an exciting virtual self and then merge it to your (apparently) real self. Me360Ghost™ can deliver all of the information generated by our other tools (Stream, $$, Busted, Rx, Shrink, Sin, and Wired) but we do all the work and create all the ‘data’. Our Me360Ghost™ staff may not have real lives any more exiting than yours, but they are expert at designing fun, exciting and mostly believable lives for Me360 advanced users. And they are especially skillful at seamlessly blurring the lines between your virtual self and your real life. You’ve never looked so hot.

A word of caution – every solution creates a new problem, or opportunity depending on your point of view. Although Me360Ghost™ can give you an exciting new persona, how do you know whether your new-found friends might be doing the same. The last thing you need is a bunch of poseurs as new friends. We’re ahead of you – sign up for Me360 Sleuth™ and we’ll help you ferret out the wannabes. And we both know there’s a lot of them out there. But don’t call us – we’ll call you. We’ve got your number.