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Me360

Recently, the social networking site Facebook was in the news because of a feature that shared information about your purchases with your friends. People complained that this was more than they wanted to share. Facebook backed off on the feature. Here at Me360 we think that’s a step in the wrong direction.

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Feeling left out of the social networking scene? Suffering from isolation anxiety because you only have 127 on-line close friends? Blue because the only video you’ve uploaded is of your cat drinking out of the toilet? Happily, you can catch up – with our help. Life has not totally passed you by.

Transparency – that’s the hot concept right now. Well, when Me360 finishes cranking up your social connections you’re going to be so transparent you’ll almost be invisible!

You likely know all the usual stuff that so-called social networks let you do: share pictures of yourself and friends, publish lists of your favorite bands, songs, movies, and hair gels. Same ol’, same ol’.

This is all superficial stuff. Duplicated and replicated by millions of people competing for friends and a few minutes of fame. Old school. Late and lame.

Now, with Me360™ you can take socializing to a new level – share more than you ever thought possible. And it’s easy – we’ve already done a lot of the work for you.

We believe that sharing the max information about yourself with your friends should be as easy as possible. You may have the fastest thumbs in the West, but trying to share the details of your life by texting on your cell is soooo slow. That’s why we offer the exclusive Me360Stream™ feature. This feature automatically streams all of your phone conversations directly to your Me360 home page – it’s like the ultimate, continuous conference call. We can deliver this service for free because of groundbreaking partnership with the Office of Homeland Security – they’ve already done all the heavy lifting. Think of it as having your very own personal wiretap! Did we mention that none other than Alberto Gonzales is on our board? He is so out in front on these new trends. The man’s a genius.

And another thing. There has been a strange taboo in the past about letting anyone know about your financial condition – such things as telling someone how much you make. But money is an important part of everyone’s life. Why be so secretive? What’s that all about? Your finances are part of who you are – why not share that with your friends. This one is a no-brainer. All of your financial information is already available to you on-line: Me360$$™ connects all of your banking stuff – deposits, withdrawals, credit card transactions – directly to your Me360 pages. Now all your friends can know as much about your finances as your significant other – maybe more.

Can we talk frankly? Good. We’ve all broken some rules along the way – those times when we’ve ‘colored outside the lines’ are often defining moments that make us stand out from the crowd. There should be an easy way to share those moments: Paris and Brittany do – why not you? To make it easy, in fact, automatic, Me360 has partnered with thousands of state and local police agencies to implement Me360Busted™ so that you can automatically have all of your arrest information immediately posted to your Me360 page. Presto! Before you even have a chance to post bail, all your friends will have the official blow-by-blow account of your latest extralegal caper complete with your mug shot posted to Me360Pix™. Happy parole! And best wishes for a house-arrest anklet (those are so cool.)

And how are you feeling? No, we mean really, how are you? Got a cold? Maybe one of those pesky STDs? Wouldn’t your friends want to know? You could post to your blog about it, but your opinions are hardly authoritative. We have a better way – direct links to your medical records. With Me360Rx™ your friends can know as much about your body and your health as your own doctor! (Actually more since if you have more than one physician they likely don’t have the whole picture.) Expose your xrays. Share the list of your meds. Good friends don’t want their friends to suffer alone. Your insurance company may not have you covered, but we do.

But Me360Rx™ only deals with your physical state. Isn’t your mental and emotional state just as important to making new friends? We think so too and that’s why we’ve bonded with the American Psychological Association to deliver Me360Shrink™. Most therapists have joined in this effort (the free ads for their services that are displayed alongside the transcripts of your therapy sessions were a factor.) Version 1.0 of Me360Shrink™ will deliver a text transcript of your therapy sessions as soon as your psychologist can email session notes. Future releases will stream real-time audio of the sessions. What better way to bond with potential friends than to open your soul and troubled mind to their scrutiny.

OK, we hear you. (Literally – we are definitely listening in.) Some of you aren’t into therapy. Perhaps you think matters of the soul are best handled by clergy. We understand. And The Church understands. It’s well known that confession is good for the soul. That’s why we’ve married with the Catholic Church to bring you Me360Sin™. Now participating churches (and most have signed up – the Catholic church has had some large unexpected expenses in the last couple years what with all the molesta… oh, we don’t have to tell you) have wired their confessionals. If you push the Me360 button in the confessional just before you say ‘Bless me father for I have sinned’, you’re connected! And so is your confession (and penance) – it’s all broadcast to your home page to give your friends and potential friends a sonic window into your soul (such as it is.)

These Me360 features are quite terrific, even if we say so ourselves. But all of them are centered on words. Here’s where we can really shift your sharing into overdrive. If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many words must continuously streamed video be worth? A googol perhaps? Basic Me360Wired™ provides you with a Bluetooth microphone/transmitter to send all of your conversations during the day directly to your Me360 page so all your friends can listen in. The next level of service, and there is a charge for this (but well worth it) is Me360Cam™ – we provide you with a helmet-mounted webcam and an uplink so you can stream continuous video of your every move. Right - like you’ve read the book – now it’s “Me The Movie”! Forget 15 minutes of fame – it’s you 360x24x7.

But you know, sometimes all the tools in the world aren’t enough to make your life look fun and interesting. Many famous people are so busy living their fun, exciting lives that they don’t have time to write their own autobiography. What do they do? They have a ghostwriter that writes about their life. We think it’s likely that you have the opposite situation - there’s not much fun or interesting about your life. You’re sitting on the couch eating chips and watching TV. No problem – Me360Ghost™ to the rescue. This isn’t gonna be free – but it could be the best dime you’ve ever spent.

Me360Ghost™ helps you create an exciting virtual self and then merge it to your (apparently) real self. Me360Ghost™ can deliver all of the information generated by our other tools (Stream, $$, Busted, Rx, Shrink, Sin, and Wired) but we do all the work and create all the ‘data’. Our Me360Ghost™ staff may not have real lives any more exiting than yours, but they are expert at designing fun, exciting and mostly believable lives for Me360 advanced users. And they are especially skillful at seamlessly blurring the lines between your virtual self and your real life. You’ve never looked so hot.

A word of caution – every solution creates a new problem, or opportunity depending on your point of view. Although Me360Ghost™ can give you an exciting new persona, how do you know whether your new-found friends might be doing the same. The last thing you need is a bunch of poseurs as new friends. We’re ahead of you – sign up for Me360 Sleuth™ and we’ll help you ferret out the wannabes. And we both know there’s a lot of them out there. But don’t call us – we’ll call you. We’ve got your number.

The Friendly Skies

(I wrote this bit over a year ago. This past week I see that Southwest Airlines is running a commericial that is a 30-second version of this piece. Dang! Should have published it somewhere so I could sue ;-)

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Good morning and welcome to flight 171, non-stop from Boston to San Francisco. Our flight time will be approximately six hours and 35 minutes. We will be pushing away from the gate in a few minutes. While we are waiting let me familiarize you with the safety features of our aircraft and also advise you of the amenities that are available to everyone in Economy Class.

Shortly after takeoff, the flight attendants will come through the cabin and provide you with a choice of four different meals – pre-prepared snack boxes, actually. You can purchase these healthy and tasty meals for $5, cash only. Since we are making food available, company regulations require that if you want to eat, you must purchase a meal: if you brought your own food on board, you must keep it securely stowed in the overhead compartments until we have landed and are safely at the gate in San Francisco. Regulations require that we confiscate any personal food that you might have at your seat. Confiscated food can be retrieved at the gate when you exit the aircraft at our destination.

Beverages are also available. Cocktails, wine and beer can be purchased for $5, cash only. Bottled water and soda can also be purchased for the modest charge of $2.50. Again, company regulations require that if you want anything to drink, you must purchase it from a flight attendant. All personal liquids must be securely stowed in the overhead compartments. Please don’t make us confiscate your personal beverages – this is a long flight and it will be easier for everyone if you observe all safety and amenity regulations.

Everyone in Economy Class purchased a standard Economy Seat – your seat assignment is printed on your boarding pass. Our standard Economy Seats provide acceptable comfort for many passengers. For those who would like more room to stretch their legs or to accommodate their large American bodies, we provide Economy Plus Seating. These seats give you an additional five inches of leg room and two additional notches of recline capability – they can make this long flight much more comfortable. Economy Seating is available for $59 – cash is preferred but we can also hold your credit card to guarantee payment.

Please do not change to an Economy Plus Seat unless you have purchased that amenity. Although there are many unused seats on this flight, regulations require that you accept the standard Economy comfort level unless you have purchased an upgrade. Your safety and comfort are important to us but this is, after all, a business. If a flight attendant observes a passenger in unpurchased seating, you will be given one opportunity to purchase an upgrade – if you decline you must immediately return to your assigned Economy seat. If you resist or are discovered a second time in unauthorized seating, the Patriot Act requires that we stow you securely in the special TSA overhead locker. I’ll remind you that this is a very long flight and it will be easier for you and your fellow passengers if you simply follow orders. Thanks in advance for your compliance

Our Boeing 737 aircraft is equipped with four restrooms in the Economy cabin – two forward and two aft. The aft restrooms include a primitive but safe commode that should suffice for many passengers especially for those passengers from the third world. The forward restrooms include flush toilets, running water and a sink as well as additional amenities such as paper products and soap. These Economy Plus Restrooms are available as an upgrade. A one-time use charge of $7.50, cash only, is available for purchase. For $22 you can purchase a pass entitling you to unlimited use for the duration of the flight. You can combine the Economy Plus Seating and Economy Plus Restroom unlimited use package for the special rate of $75 – a savings of $6.

If you are observed using an Economy Plus Restroom but have not purchased a pass, you will immediately be securely stowed in the TSA overhead locker as required by regulations. We regret the inconvenience but it is only fair: your fellow passengers who have purchased the restroom upgrade should not be impeded in accessing the facilities. Also, Homeland Security Administrations regulations require or at least condone this strong response.

This Boston to San Francisco flight is mostly over land but we have designed a flight plan that takes us over many of the Great Lakes, several major rivers, the Great Salt Lake and Lake Tahoe so that you can experience the natural wonders of our great nation. With so much water below, there is always a possibility of a water landing. Our 737 aircraft is equipped with flotation cushions built into each of the standard Economy seats. In the event of a water landing, simply pull the seat cushion up, slip your arms through the straps and clutch the cushion to you chest. Each Economy Seat Cushion will support a 100 pound person for approximately 10 minutes. This may be sufficient for some passengers. If you prefer additional flotation capability, an upgrade Economy Plus Seat Cushion capable of supporting 200 pounds for up to one hour is available for $20. We suggest that you make these purchases ahead of time. The flight attendants are likely to be the first ones out of the plane and may not be available to handle last-minute purchases.

In the unlikely event of the loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically deploy from the overhead. Pull the mask over your nose and mouth, secure the strap around your head and breathe normally. Each mask will provide approximately 5 minutes of oxygen. This will be sufficient for many of our Economy passengers. If you are prone to panic or hyperventilation or if you would simply prefer additional breathing comfort, you can purchase Economy Plus Oxygen Tokens that entitle you to an additional supply of this healthy, life-giving gas. Each $10 token gives you an additional 5 minutes of oxygen. Again, we recommend that you purchase your tokens ahead of time, especially if you don’t have exact change. I’m sure you can appreciate that your flight attendants will be quite busy in the event of a loss of cabin pressure – frankly, all hell will break loose. When buying your tokens remember that this is a very long flight and plan accordingly.

All of the Economy class upgrades are described on page 169 of your InFlight magazine. In addition to those I have just mentioned, other amenities are available including:

Economy Plus Music: Economy Music delivers only gangsta rap music and you are required to listen for the duration of the flight. Economy Plus Music includes a full range of entertainment options including silence.

Economy Plus Movies: Economy Movies consist of a continuous loop of Can’t Stop the Music starring the Village People – the sound delivered with this movie is taken from the Economy Music channel. Economy Plus Movies feature current movie hits including the matching sound.

Economy Plus Airsickness Bags – especially handy if you have not opted for the
Economy Plus Restroom upgrade.

Economy Plus Aisle Passes – entitle you to walk freely up and down the aisle throughout the flight. Unlike standard Economy passengers, you are not restricted to aisle access during short, randomly chosen intervals.

Refer to page 169 of InFlight magazine for a complete list of prices and penalties.

The captain has just signaled that we are ready to push away from the gate. Turn off all electronic devices and leave them off for the duration of the flight. There are no exceptions and violations will be dealt with as we deem appropriate. I think you know by now what that means. We are in absolute control of your safety for the next six and a half hours. We strongly advise that you consider all your options.

Thank you for flying the Friendly Skies. Please assume the position in preparation for takeoff.

Crabshack2

Fear

I've had a couple email exchanges with cousin John Kane about our shared fear of public speaking. It reminded me that I'd worked through this a couple years ago and even wrote about it a bit. Here's what I had (and have) to say about that.
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The Eagle is a square-rigged sailing ship that the U.S. Coast Guard Academy uses to train cadets. While at the Academy, I spent part of four summers in the North Atlantic on board Eagle learning the finer points of seamanship. The ship has three masts that rise 150 feet above its teak decks. To set and furl the top-most sail, the Royal, you climb a spider web of ropes and rope ladders to the Royal yardarm and then inch your way out to the end of the yard while standing on a rope the diameter of your thumb. While you are climbing and hanging on, the mast top swings in a dizzying arc through the sky as the ship rolls in the sea far below. There are no safety belts or lines – only the bosun’s admonition of ‘one hand for the ship, one hand for yourself.’

The first time I went aloft I was nearly paralyzed by fear – I had to force myself to reluctantly relax my grip and move one hand a few inches upward to clutch the next rung. Then pause, take a few breaths – making sure not to look down – and will the other hand to move. Until then I hadn’t known that I had any fear of heights. But I persisted. I was 18 years old and surrounded by 150 other young males. Some combination of peer pressure and youthful machismo propelled me upward. Amazingly, within a week or two I was scrambling to the top of the masts without hesitation and even sliding down the backstays from the upper crows nest for a lightning return to the main deck.

Decades later I was in a relationship with a partner who thrived on argument and confrontation. It was a mismatch – I had grown up in a family where arguing was not a sport. I had little ability to assert myself and when confronted would freeze up, literally unable to speak. Immobilized by fear. Surprisingly, this reaction did little to help resolve conflicts or improve communication. But I persisted. Some combination of partner pressure, aging machismo and intellectual curiosity propelled me in the direction of a cognitive behavioral therapist – I wanted to figure out why I reacted with such fear and perhaps even change that reaction. Along the way I learned some things about fear and its many uses.

Fear is a vital emotion. Our species – most species, in fact – would not survive without fear. My reaction of freezing while first climbing the mast of Eagle or when confronted by a partner’s anger is part of the same response that causes a deer to freeze in your car’s headlights – it is a survival reaction that operates more quickly than conscious thought. Three common fear or survival reactions are freezing, fleeing, or fighting. I have typically used the first two but all can be effective – it depends on the nature of the threat. The fast fear-driven responses save us from imminent threats. Nowadays, we seldom have to escape tigers or lions, but these responses still often serve us well – they are what kicks in when we need to jump out of the path of a car running a red light.

So, we don’t want to rid ourselves completely of the fear response. Anxiety or long-term fearfulness, however, is a problem in modern societies. We often react with fear and operate in a constant state of anxiety even when there is no real, imminent danger. The trick is to tame the fear response so that it happens only when really needed and, as a by-product, reduce long term anxiety.

Let’s look at some graphs that describe two different ways to respond to fear. The following diagram illustrates what happens when you respond to a fearful situation by avoiding it – the instinctive reaction;











If I avoid the source of fear I immediately reduce my level of fear or anxiety. Whew! Got out of that safely! Didn’t die this time. However, over time my anxiety will likely increase – my perception of the threat has not lessened, I just temporarily removed myself from the source. It’s possible, even likely, that in the long term my anxiousness may actually increase to a level higher than is was initially because I become increasingly apprehensive about this unresolved fear.

The next illustration shows what happens if instead of avoiding the source of fear I actually approach or confront it:












If I approach source of fear, the immediate result is an increase in fearfulness or anxiety. That’s what nearly paralyzed me in my first attempts to go aloft on the Eagle. However, if I persist and don’t completely freeze or flee, the fearfulness begins to subside with additional exposure. The brain discovers that perhaps you can actually survive this situation and decides that it can relax a bit. And maybe even completely let go of the fear – eventually. And the two arcs of fearfulness that result from approach versus avoidance may ultimately cross:











This suggests that repeated confrontation or exposure to a situation that scares me may reduce the response to a point well below what happens if I continue to avoid the situation or stimulus.

OK. That’s theoretically interesting. But can this information actually be of help while I try to get through each day? My personal experience is promising.

I no longer have the opportunity (nor the desire) to climb the mast of a sailing ship. But I was still challenged (ok, threatened) by conversational confrontations. I had always been shy and had an inordinate fear of speaking in public. And I had finally figured out that I also was unable to speak (or think clearly) in private – if the conversation might become confrontational or emotional. So, based on my slight understanding of the approach/avoidance concept, I decided to very intentionally confront my fear of public speaking. I joined a group (Toastmasters) that seemed like it could help me overcome this unreasonable fear. It worked. I was nearly paralyzed during my first speech at Toastmasters but quickly became comfortable giving little speeches and talks. I learned that I could push through fearfulness if I just confronted it. I had done that when climbing Eagle’s masts but it had been completely unconscious. This time I had actually figured out the source of the fear and determined how to get past it.

But so far, I’d only learned how to deal with a specific fear reaction – with the most recent success being how to not panic or freeze when I had to speak in public. Was there a way to extend that knowledge and success so that I might reduce fear and anxiety in other situations?

I stumbled into this next piece of the puzzle while participating in an ongoing series of mindfulness meditation teachings. At the end of one of these practices, the teacher gave us an assignment to help us become more mindful and aware even when we weren’t formally meditating. She suggested picking some mundane event that happened naturally during our day and using that event as a trigger to ‘pay attention’ – to bring ourselves into the present moment. Any trivial common event could be used - for example, the sound your computer makes when you get an incoming email or the reminder of an upcoming meeting.

I decided to use as a trigger a very minor anxiousness that I frequently experienced at work. The office where I work has three long parallel hallways that run the length of the building. When I was walking down a hallway and saw someone that I didn’t know approaching, I would usually duck over to one of the other hallways to avoid contact with the stranger. It was a silly response and habit, born of life-long shyness. But it was a minor and real source of slight anxiety – and it happened often every day. Perfect! Each time I saw someone approaching and felt that slight anxiousness and impulse to take a different path, I reminded myself to become aware and pay attention to what was happening. I turned this trivial source of fear into an opportunity for mindfulness. (A happy by-product of the practice was that soon most of the ‘strangers’ became comfortable co-workers.)

The important lesson I learned was that I could actually use the fear response as an opportunity for change. Just two things were required to make this work: becoming fully aware of the sensation of fear and then be willing to stay with that sensation and not immediately avoid it. (Unless, of course, the fear is in response to an immediate and real threat that requires action.) Since fear or anxiety usually produce a very real physical sensation – that funny sensation in your gut or tensing of muscles for example – with practice you can detect the early signs of anxiety and become fully aware of it. And then turn it into a calming meditative experience.

My personal experience and the examples I’ve described all deal with very minor levels of anxiety – I’ve had few big traumas in my life that I needed to deal with. But a reading of current medical and scientific literature indicates that the techniques I stumbled into are the same ones being used by medical professionals for the treatment of such things as post-traumatic-stress-disorder and other anxiety reactions. Research indicates that practices such as mindfulness meditations and repeated exposure to situations that trigger an anxiety – especially when these two techniques are combined - can be as effective as pharmacological treatments for anxiety. And unlike extended use of such medications as Prozac, these alternate approaches offer the possibility of eliminating the anxious response instead of masking them.

I’m not a medical professional. I won’t claim that the approaches I’ve practiced and described would work for everyone or in every situation. I do believe and suggest however that, to paraphrase Franklin D. Roosevelt, ‘we have nothing to fear, not even fear itself.’

WWSD

It has been several months now since my dad (Sugar Kane) died. See the earlier post:. As part of my comments at his funeral, I came up with the phrase "What Would Sugar Do" (WWSD). Later, I thought it would be nice to memorialize Dad with reminder. So I had some bracelets made up. They look kinda like this:


I like 'em. Sending a bunch out to family and a some friends. Nice to have Sugar on my wrist.

Lake Tahoe

I hadn't been to this beautiful place in a few years. It's about a four hour drive from the Bay Area - and transports you to a completely different world. The lake is at about 6600 feet above sea level and has an average depth of 1000 feet. Surrounded by towering peaks (prime ski country) and dense pine forests.

I was going there because Lex (who I've met through best friends Michael & Marji) had invited us all to spend the weekend at her parent's lakefront home that has been in the family for 30 years. A terrific spot right on the lake.



Tahoe is an odd scene - a beautiful natural spot that also features very un-natural gambling casinoes. The Nevada/California border runs right down the middle of the lake. So, many folks come for the scenic beauty, many come to gamble, some come for both. Me - I'm a loser. Absolutely, veriviably a loser at gambling. So I don't do it. Instead - hey, let's take a ride on a boat !




The boat ride was great fun. An old paddle-wheeler that was designed in Missouri and then shipped in many parts for assembly at Tahoe.

We mostly hung around the house and backyard with a great view of the lake:

And played cribbage and 'speed scrabble' a Lex invention that was quite fun.


Did Imention that there were three dogs on the trip? Yep, Michael & Marji brought Jack and Bobbie and Lex had her pal Peanut Butter. Here they are:

It's Been a While

I guess I've been busy? Whatever the reason, I've not posted anyting in a month. What's happened since?

The Road: after all my complaining and whining, CalTrans actually opened the Devil's Slide road several months ahead of expectations! Here's the repaired stretch.
Not only did the road reopening rid us of the horrendous commute traffic, it also gave me my first chance in four months to go to my favorite farmers' market in San Francisco. So after yoga on Saturday, my yoga buddy Michelle and I did some produce shopping.



Then drove back down the coast over Devil's Slide again giving us this view of Montara Beach, my favorite neighborhood beach.

A Hat Takes a Hike

We decided to take a Sunday morning hike. So I met Klaus (my yoga teacher), his wife Amanda and Michelle (both yoga buddies) at the 3 Zero Cafe for breakfast. After breakfast, Michelle fetched her dog Tucker and we all met at the Moss Beach bluffs to begin. I was a perfect day - about 65 degrees, bright blue sky and ocean


Michelle has been car-sitting for our friend Olivia who is on a 6-month assignment in Shanghai - so Michelle drove Olivia's car to the bluff to give it some exercise.

It was a sunny day - rather rare on the coast - so Klaus thought perhaps he should have a hat. Luckily, Olivia had left a most attractive hat in her car so The Hat came along on the hike.

Klaus wore The Hat for most of the hike - The Hat is SOOO Klaus.


But it turns out that The Hat is versatile. Everybody looks good in Olivia's Hat. At the end of the hike, Michelle tried it on - man, it looked great! Is this not a great hat?

The Hat is like a really great playmaker in basketball - it makes everybody look good. Michelle's got it going in this shot.

And it turns out that The Hat works for other species - The Hat is soooo Tucker.


After the hike I went home and muddled about the house for a couple hours but the day was too perfect to ignore. So in late afternoon I grabbed a New Yorker and blanket and went down to Montara Beach for a couple hours.
A perfect day at my favorite beach.

If only I had The Hat.